"My soul is elsewhere, I'm sure of that. And I intend to end up there." -- Rumi

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

He's baa-aack.

So, do y'all remember my Creepy Texting Stalker from last summer?  WELL, about two months ago I got a random message on my phone... "Hello, how are you," or some such.  (Since that day, I'd run out of space on my phone and had to delete all texts so cannot give exact dates or quotations.)  I replied back with "Who is this?"  Much like last summer, I'd been meeting a lot of new people around this time and it was entirely possible that this was a legitimate text from a recent acquaintance.  But when he texted back that "This is Irakli," I suddenly knew why the number looked familiar.  I did what I should have done 8 months ago; I saved his number as "Texting Stalker" and then safely filed him away under "Screened Messages."  After that, I checked my screened messages a couple of times but he hadn't sent anything new, so I forgot about him.

UNTIL, that is, two nights ago when I was having dinner with a very cool Georgian friend, and he asked me if I'd had any problems with Georgian men while I'd been here.  I replied that nothing serious had happened (yet), but I told him the story of my Creepy Texting Stalker and had the idea to check to see if he'd sent anything new.

Lo and behold, Irakli the Creepy Texting Stalker had sent me FIVE NEW TEXTS.

March 26, 6:48 PM:  Good Evening.  How are you.:-)
March 26, 7:27 PM:  I Am interesting are you afraid to talk to me or anything else :-):)
March 26, 7:29 PM:  I do not eat people. :-)
April 1, 1:25 PM:  Hello, how are you?
April 18, 1:34 PM:  Happy easter

This is absolutely the same guy from the summer -- if his name wasn't a dead giveaway, there's also be what seems to be his signature phrase regarding his deniability of cannibalistic practices.

Irakli, my dear, my poor, misguided, irritating-as-all-hell  Texting Stalker... if your stalker-ness extends so far that you find your way here... I implore you now to just freaking STOP IT.  I am never, ever going to meet you.  You probably never had a chance of my willingly meeting you, but with every creepy, unwelcome and unanswered text, that NEVER just gets bigger and bigger.

However, I will say that you furnished my friend and I with no small amount of amusement on Monday night, and for that I suppose I should thank you.  But I won't, because any contact from me is just going to result in weeks of further irritation and harassment.

Go.  Away.

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