Hello Blogosphere. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas, if such a holiday falls in your purview, and a very Happy New Year. My folks and I enjoyed a very quiet day full of bacon, French toast, many wonderful surprises, naps, mimosas, and cabernet sauvingon. New Year's Eve was spent in the company of friends, at a rather amazing and enormous party that was the brainchild and creation of my good friend Tara. I'm proud to say that I played my Most Embarrassing Game of Beer Pong Ever, and also proud that I managed not to wipe out even once while wearing my heels, after not wearing any for an entire year.
As 2013 has started its inexorable roll forward, I suppose now is as good a time as any to break my latest Big News, which unfortunately is less awesome than past Big Newses. For reasons entirely out of my control, it appears I will not be going back to Georgia after all. From what I've been able to discern, the changes within TLG are largely a result of their new government, which happens to be much less Western-friendly. Their funding has been cut. I haven't been given any details, but after a year in Georgia have sort of accepted that as being too much to ask. I'm disappointed but quite honestly also a little relieved that I won't have to face another Georgian winter after all, which is something that last February I swore I would NEVER do again. I had, sort of perversely, been looking forward to diving headfirst back into the challenge of it all, but as my Mom gently reminded me, that's a peak I've already summited.
But in that same vein, with Georgia at least I knew what I was doing next. It's what I told everyone I did, and was going to go back to doing, during my three months of travel. Now, I have literally no idea, and uncomfortably have to face the fact that my worst fears about making this lifestyle change have in fact come to pass. I'm jobless, carless, health insuranceless, and largely savingsless. Yet again I find myself back where I always end up when my life unexpectedly tanks, at my parents' house. I love it here, love the people that live here, but at the end of the day it's just a lot less cool to be living at your parents' house whilst jobless, than living at your parents' house for a month before going back to your awesome (and challenging) life overseas.
But, at this point there's nothing I can do about all that. I am where I am, and no matter what I'll never regret the past year and a half. It's been incredible, and if the choices I've made have led me here, then so be it. The only thing I can do is anything and everything feasibly possible to get myself back over the Atlantic again, or at least over the border. It's rather a daunting prospect.
The silly, fatalistic part of me is doing her best to get attention right now, saying things like: "You've had a pretty damn good run for almost two years. Just how long were you expecting this ride to last?" And to be honest I have been listening to her some. I'd rather not, but that's easier said than done. I want to go back abroad, any way I can. I have plenty of nebulous ideas and options, but nothing strong or solid. My TLG application and hiring process took bleeding forever. And while of course I know that anything worth having is worth working for, thinking about starting all that up again makes me want to curl up and play Angry Birds for a while.
And in the meantime, I really should think about getting a part-time job (cringe), so I can afford my Charles Schwab and calls out to Papa John's. My criteria for this semi-gainful employment includes: Nothing disgusting, nothing stressful, and nothing far. It would also be kind of neat to not be too demeaning. And I really would prefer to stay out of an office environment. The scars still haven't fully healed up from last time, and I don't know that they ever will. Pretty sure I'd wait tables before willingly heading back into any office again. And I am one shitty waitress.
So yeah. When all is said and done I suppose this is not exactly my Finest Hour. I feel discouraged, and let down, and pissed at TLG for waiting until mid-December to finally tell me, despite a full month of unanswered emails. Georgia was far from perfect, but at least it was something. And now I am back to Square One.
Mom says: "The only way out is through." And as always, I'm well aware that things could be a lot worse. Every challenge is an opportunity.
But first -- Angry Birds. And maybe some Jewel Mania.
As 2013 has started its inexorable roll forward, I suppose now is as good a time as any to break my latest Big News, which unfortunately is less awesome than past Big Newses. For reasons entirely out of my control, it appears I will not be going back to Georgia after all. From what I've been able to discern, the changes within TLG are largely a result of their new government, which happens to be much less Western-friendly. Their funding has been cut. I haven't been given any details, but after a year in Georgia have sort of accepted that as being too much to ask. I'm disappointed but quite honestly also a little relieved that I won't have to face another Georgian winter after all, which is something that last February I swore I would NEVER do again. I had, sort of perversely, been looking forward to diving headfirst back into the challenge of it all, but as my Mom gently reminded me, that's a peak I've already summited.
But in that same vein, with Georgia at least I knew what I was doing next. It's what I told everyone I did, and was going to go back to doing, during my three months of travel. Now, I have literally no idea, and uncomfortably have to face the fact that my worst fears about making this lifestyle change have in fact come to pass. I'm jobless, carless, health insuranceless, and largely savingsless. Yet again I find myself back where I always end up when my life unexpectedly tanks, at my parents' house. I love it here, love the people that live here, but at the end of the day it's just a lot less cool to be living at your parents' house whilst jobless, than living at your parents' house for a month before going back to your awesome (and challenging) life overseas.
But, at this point there's nothing I can do about all that. I am where I am, and no matter what I'll never regret the past year and a half. It's been incredible, and if the choices I've made have led me here, then so be it. The only thing I can do is anything and everything feasibly possible to get myself back over the Atlantic again, or at least over the border. It's rather a daunting prospect.
The silly, fatalistic part of me is doing her best to get attention right now, saying things like: "You've had a pretty damn good run for almost two years. Just how long were you expecting this ride to last?" And to be honest I have been listening to her some. I'd rather not, but that's easier said than done. I want to go back abroad, any way I can. I have plenty of nebulous ideas and options, but nothing strong or solid. My TLG application and hiring process took bleeding forever. And while of course I know that anything worth having is worth working for, thinking about starting all that up again makes me want to curl up and play Angry Birds for a while.
And in the meantime, I really should think about getting a part-time job (cringe), so I can afford my Charles Schwab and calls out to Papa John's. My criteria for this semi-gainful employment includes: Nothing disgusting, nothing stressful, and nothing far. It would also be kind of neat to not be too demeaning. And I really would prefer to stay out of an office environment. The scars still haven't fully healed up from last time, and I don't know that they ever will. Pretty sure I'd wait tables before willingly heading back into any office again. And I am one shitty waitress.
So yeah. When all is said and done I suppose this is not exactly my Finest Hour. I feel discouraged, and let down, and pissed at TLG for waiting until mid-December to finally tell me, despite a full month of unanswered emails. Georgia was far from perfect, but at least it was something. And now I am back to Square One.
Mom says: "The only way out is through." And as always, I'm well aware that things could be a lot worse. Every challenge is an opportunity.
But first -- Angry Birds. And maybe some Jewel Mania.
http://escapethecity.org/
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip! Just made my initial profile. :)
DeleteI sympathize entirely, obviously. But I know you'll figure something out, you have before.
ReplyDeleteI'd suggest maybe looking at the State Dept or even the CIA? They provide opportunities for travel, you're well educated, and well traveled, I'm sure knowledge of Georgia in particular will be of interest, the more industrialized parts of Europe handy as well.
Oh my dear! Don't worry! Something better and a new adventure is in store for you. I selfishly would really like that adventure to involve staying stateside! But really I want whatever makes you happy. Love you!
ReplyDelete