The time that is given to you

Well.  So how have you all been?  I can safely say you haven't missed much over here.  Every day is just kind of like the next.  I sleep late, I read, I make something complicated and interesting for dinner to pass the time.  I watch Downton Abbey or House Hunters International with my Mom.

Oh, and I also got accepted to teach in a private school in Istanbul.

Not Constantinople, because I'm just going to put the kibosh on that joke right here.

I leave February 6th, for a four-month contract.

If it seems like I am rather shell-shocked, it is because I am.  I had not been looking diligently for jobs overseas.  I was depressed, I felt cut adrift.  I just didn't know how realistic it was to try for an ESL job when it was already halfway through January, and the constant oppressive fear of disappointment squashed me so flat I was thinking about calling a local ad for a part-time receptionist, or putting in an application at Trader Joe's.

But then I found this job on Dave's ESL Cafe.  I applied, just for a lark, because it was in one of my top five cities to work in and it seemed like they might need someone quick.  Two skype interviews, a couple emails and some minor contract negotiation later...

And that's it.  The whole thing has happened so damn fast I can't even process.  And now, there's no time to prepare, to obsessively read guidebooks and brush up on my regional political history.  I sent in my signed contract yesterday afternoon and booked my one-way flight.  And promptly popped a cork on some cheap champagne and poured myself a very liberal mimosa.

Am I excited?  Of course I'm excited!  I'm so freaking thrilled I can't even believe this is happening -- that I got to slip the noose one more time, and jet off to set up shop in one of the greatest cities in the world.  I'm also utterly terrified, because it did happen so fast, because I don't have my ducks in a row, because there's still a lot I don't know about my school or my general situation.  And sure, something could always happen.  One thing I've learned these past few years is that nothing is certain.  I could arrive in Istanbul and discover that what I've actually done is purchase myself a very short and unexpected vacation.  But I'm gritting my teeth and going anyway, trusting that somehow it will all work out, or at least give me enough to fudge my way through.  Four months is going to go by in a flash.

"Do you want to go?" Mom asked me.  I thought about it and I said: "Yeah, I do.  Because seriously, why would anyone not want to run off and live in Istanbul?  Except for fear."

I don't know what's going to happen.  But I do know that it will be more exciting than answering phones in a real estate office.  I'm sure there will be days I question and regret my decision.  But I also know there will be many more moments when I pause to look around, and just shake my head and laugh because this is my life.  It happened more times than I could count in Georgia.  It happened every damn day in Europe.  And I am just so freaking grateful that once again I am given this chance.

(Of course, this does mean I really do need to stop procrastinating and finish my Europe blog posts!)

At the end of the day, I think the entire moral of my life story can be summed up with:  you just never know.  You never know what life will bring.  And all you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.  Thanks, Gandalf.  I'll try to keep it in mind.