Farewell Istanbul

Time for another one of these.  A "farewell" post.  The end of my Istanbul Adventure.  If nothing else, I'm fairly confident I now have more than enough XP to level up to a 3rd level TEFL Teacher and a 5th level Traveler.  Favored Weapon: the Death Stare.  For both classes.

In the morning, Sisyphus and I will head off for Egypt.  Egypt.  Holy Crap.  I still can't believe I'm really doing this.  I'm going off to see the pyramids.  I'd be squeeing off the walls if I wasn't grounded with apprehension and dread.  I'm packed, more or less.  Sun hat, long cotton skirts, and white t-shirts have been purchased.  Confirmations and itineraries have been double-checked and printed.  I really think that I have done everything I possibly could to make these nine days in Egypt a success.  Now to just... go off and make it happen!

But first, a farewell to this amazing city that was gracious enough to host me for a while.

Had a very nice Saturday in downtown Istanbul recently with Rachel and Mallory.  We didn't do a lot that was noteworthy, just walked around a lot, bought a couple presents, and had our share of tea, Turkish coffee, beer, and cocktails.  Oh, and food, of course.

Tea in Gulhane Park

Sunset from Galata Bridge

Drinks on the Galata

Eminonu in the gloaming

 It was a nice sort of formal goodbye to the city.  I've made it back downtown a time or two since then, but on errands.  This was the last time I got to enjoy the best of Istanbul with good friends, and good memories were made.  This is the part of Istanbul that I will miss when I reflect back on my time here.

What else will I take away from Constantinople, you ask?  Well.

What I Learned:
I learned that while I may be (and I think I am) a good teacher, I am not a good child psychologist.  I can present the material in a comprehensive and engaging way, but I do not seem to have the gift (and really could not be bothered) to coax a pain-in-the-ass child to stop being a brat and open his book to the correct page.  Education and learning has got to be a two-way street.  To my mind, If you aren't willing to meet me even 5% of the way, I'm pretty much absolved of responsibility.  With this in mind, I believe my teaching skills and strengths would really be best put to use with adults, or university students.  Wherever in the world I end up next, teaching adults is going to be at the forefront of my search.

I learned, at great shock to my own self, that it really might be worth it to sacrifice some of those Western Comforts in favor of Experiences.  As I've written previously, my Istanbul experience has offered plenty in the way of comfortableness but not very much in the way of wacky memorable fun.  Upon reflection, I don't think I did one single solitary impulsive thing while I was in Turkey.  I had fun, but that fun was planned in advance.  It was safe fun.  Tame.  I walked into no surprise supras, did not once throw my towel, sunscreen, and vodka into my bag and walk off for a day on the Black Sea.  Nothing wrong with being safe (now more than ever), but I think it's something I will keep in mind as I choose where to go next.  I wouldn't have thought this of myself.  I'd have thought I'd be the kind of person to say that a comfy, clean red couch will always win out over a rattly minibus deathtrap.  Surprise!

What I Loved:
My apartment, with its comfy red couch, living room AC unit, and blessed dearth of roaches.  Iskender.  Manti.  Schweppes Bitter Lemon as a vodka mixer.  The Bosphorus. Watching all of Doctor Who with Rachel.  Cooking my own dinners in my own kitchen (and that they actually turned out pretty damn well.)

What I Did Not Love:
My apartment's location and neighborhood.  My school's location, which of course was a large factor in determining my apartment's location.  The mass transit system, and more specifically how LONG I needed to be on said transit system in order to get anywhere.  That I didn't meet more people here, or get involved in the larger expat community (see shitty location).  How expensive everything is here.  "Hello my friend, where are you from?" (ARGH!) The unspoken social stigma against women buying alcohol, or drinking it in public.  And sadly, much of the actual teaching.  Especially Class 3-B.  Yeah, I called them out.  Buttheads.

What I Will Miss:
Iskender.  Manti.  Seeing the tops of the Blue Mosque's six minarets as I stepped off the Sultanahmet tram stop.  A fair number of my students.

What I Will Not Miss:
The 4:30 AM summer call to prayer.  The pollution.

My Favorite Travel Experience:
Cappadocia, easy.  No contest.  If you haven't, check out my blogs on Cappadocia, here, here, and here.

My Most Lackluster Travel Experience:
Probably my Kadikoy/Prince's Islands weekend.  Sorry.  I probably just wasn't in the right headspace to enjoy it properly.

What I am Most Grateful For:
As always, first and foremost -- I'm grateful for the simple fact that I got to do this at all.  Istanbul may not have been the crazy, fish-out-of-water, every day is an adventure experience that I got to have in Georgia, but at the end of the day I feel completely humbled that I was able to call this city my home for a short time.

I'm grateful that, despite challenges, I was able to turn things around for at least some of my classes.  I will not miss teaching here, and I can't even say I'll miss my kids, but I will remember some of them very fondly.  Looks like once again my Mom proved herself right, and things did eventually get a little better after all.  Dammit.

I'm grateful for the awesome help and support I consistently received from my recruiting company, Leeds Akademi.  I can recommend them wholeheartedly.  Thank you again, Bill -- SO MUCH!!  You were my lifesaver more times than I can count.

And Final Impressions:
Am I happy I made the decision to come here?  Absolutely.  Do I think the time is right for me to move on?  ABsolutely.  Will I be back?  Never say never, but it's not part of my plans for now.  I feel like Istanbul and I have gotten a pretty fair measure of each other this go-round.

There's no real concrete reason I can give for why Istanbul and I did not fall in love with each other the way we were supposed to.  It should have happened that way.  But it didn't.  If my life were a movie and Istanbul was the enigmatic but difficult and emotionally unstable boyfriend that I'd met through mutual friends who swore on a stack of Bibles that we'd be a perfect match for each other, now would be that emotional climactic moment where I kissed my boyfriend on the cheek, wished him well, and walked off without looking back as some inspiring female artist's voice swelled up in the background.  Adele maybe?

No harm no foul, Istanbul.  It just wasn't in the cards for us.  And frankly, I'm kind of glad I didn't fall in love with this city, because now seems to be a pretty good time for me to be taking my leave.

And what is in the cards for me now?  After Egypt, I'll be spending a few weeks in Pensacola with my sister, brother-in-law, and their brand-new son, Paxton Connor.  There will probably be a week or two in Northern Virginia in late July/early August.  And then I will get myself up to Maine to surrender to the quiet serenity of Pemaquid Pond for a while.

In September?  I'll be packing up again, although I have no idea where.  Hopefully to some version of my current idea of a dream job -- teaching university students about Romantic Poetry in Costa Rica.  That shouldn't be hard to find, right?

Teaching in Istanbul: Final Assessment

This is My Journey Westward's 200th blog post!  Whee.

And now it's time for the follow up to one of the most negative, demoralized, and vitriolic posts I've ever written on here.  My final impressions on what it was like to teach English for four months in Turkey.

While I came away from this experience not feeling quite so demoralized as I had been one month in, I'm still pretty damn grateful that it has come to a close.  I'm glad I didn't let it beat me, back when things weren't their best.  I saw it through.

And yesterday when I went to pick up my final paycheck, my company's Program Coordinator made a point to thank me for seeing it through.  What's more, he asked for my opinion on whether native teachers should be placed at my particular school in the future, and I gave him my honest answer.  He shook my hand, and we parted on the best of terms.  I may have had my fair share of both good and bad experiences while in Istanbul, but I can honestly say that Leeds  has been wonderful to me from start to finish.  I literally could not have survived my four and a half months here without their help and support.

1st Grade:
Initially the hardest to reach and to control, things improved drastically once my request for a Turkish aide was granted.  It made just the hugest difference.  I still was the one who taught -- I made up the worksheets and I ran the lesson, but my Turkish co-teacher was there to explain directions when they didn't understand my charades, and to translate when they wanted to tell me things.  This ranged from "Teacher I saw you at lunch!" (Hooray?) to "Emirhan stole my blue colored pencil and now I am going to throw the world's hugest tantrum about it, while Emirhan has hysterics of his own because he feels he's been falsely accused."

Class 1-B was kind of a pain in the ass.  But they're univerally regarded as being so by the entire school, so I didn't take it personally.  And overall, the kids are adorable.  Most of them.  About a month ago, the three 1st Grades put on their big End-Of-Year Show, and it was a HUGE deal.  I actually thought it was kind of a lot of pressure to put on these little ones -- something like two and a half hours of various skits, songs, and dances, complete with a myriad of costume changes.  But the kids all did amazingly, and it was so much fun to get to see.  I was really proud of them.

I'd been working with Sarah and their Turkish English teacher on preparing three songs/skits for each class to do.  Boys only, girls only, and then the whole class together.  For some reason I don't seem to be able to upload the video I took, but you can get some idea of the cuteness from the photos at least.

The guy in the big Rumi fez was my favorite first grader.  I will miss this one for sure!

Don't you just love their little outfits???

Class 1-C

Boys getting ready to do their "English Soldiers" skit

I loved this little guy.  Berke.  Adorable and smart as hell. 

Girls doing their "Greeting Song"

Second Grade:
The most enjoyable classes from start to finish.  Couple of troublemakers, but overall these were the classes I looked forward to the most.

Third Grade:
Unquestionably the most frustrating.  That first teaching post I did, when I was ready to set everything on fire?  A direct outcome of one particular lesson with third graders.  Ironically, I raised such enormous (and justified) hell over what had happened that the class got the smack laid down on them like I've never seen.  They were angels for the rest of the year.  Angels.  And... we ended up really liking each other and getting along.  They wrote me little love notes and I let them go to lunch early.  We had worked out a rapport.  It was pretty satisfying.

Unfortunately, my other two third grade classes sucked utter rocks.  One class in particular... I just don't know.  We were like oil and water.  Nothing I did seemed to reach them, and I did try.  Oh well.  Can't win 'em all.



SO... at the end, I would say I enjoyed and felt productive in approximately 5.75 of the eight classes that I taught.  Two third grades and probably about a quarter of class 1-B were a wash.  I guess that's not the most terrible of records to be going home with, but I do wish it hadn't had to be quite such a trial by fire the first two months or so.

But at any rate, I'm not giving up on this.  I may have had more challenges at this particular posting than I ever expected, but I believe I really did make the best of it and maybe even managed to be a positive influence to a few of my young students.  I certainly was getting a regular influx of love notes from Class 3-C by the end.  I'm going to keep traveling and keep teaching overseas, because this is quite literally the only job in my adult life that I've ever been happy doing.  The only time where I was able to say that any sacrifices are well worth it.  I feel clearheadded and ready.  Bring it, world.

And, even though I didn't need a reminder, the other day Buzzfeed very kindly posted a list of 23 Reasons Why I have NO INTENTION of Coming Home to Get a Real Job.  Thanks, Buzzfeed.  And, I guess, thanks Ursula.  It always does come back to you.

Seeing Istanbul in One Week

So you know those obsessive lists and itineraries I make for myself that I'm always going on about?  Well, I made one for you!  I've been promising a sort of comprehensive Istanbul post, and this is it.  I put together an imaginary week-long Istanbul Itinerary, complete with time estimates for how long I think each site would likely take (if you are me).  Please note that all the time estimates do not include travel time to the sight or any possible lines you might have to wait in.

I know that now isn't exactly the world's best time to visit Istanbul, but the general word out seems to be that as long as you avoid Taksim, Besitas, and stupidly putting yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time, tourists should be fine.  This is not an endorsement for you to come to Istanbul right now and then freaking sue me if you get arrested or teargassed.  Just repeating what I have heard and read from various sources.  But anyway, it's my hope and belief that these troubles won't last forever, and soon enough Istanbul will once again be its happy, crowded hustling and bustling self.



"Hello my friend, where are you from?"

One-Week Istanbul Itinerary

Day One
Might as well knock out the biggest and the best first, because that's always what I like to do.  I know this looks like a LOT, but many of the items in Day One can be done justice in 20 minutes or less.  Plus they are all within a five-minute walk of each other, so travel time is minimal.  Trust me, if you get an early start it is very doable to see all of this in one day.

Hagia Sophia (30 minutes to an hour, depending on your level of interest)
Important Note:  It is pronounced AYA SOFIA.  Please don't be a philistine.
Line here can get impressive, so try to come early.  If that doesn't work, circle back around near the end of the day; you might have better luck then.  Just make sure you're aware of the last entrance time.

Sultanahmet Park (15 to 20 minutes)
Walk from the Hagia Sophia down through the park to get to the Blue Mosque.  If you're so inspired, get a Turkish ice cream and sit for a few minutes on one of the many wooden benches, drinking in the truly breathtaking scene all around you.

Blue Mosque (20 minutes)
The line here can be demoralizing but it moves quickly.  Try to make sure you don't arrive during prayer time; the mosque will be closed.  If your timing is bad, do some of the remaining things first and then try again.  Also -- wear pants or a long skirt, and a shirt that covers your shoulders.  Dudes, this includes you as well.  Women, bring a scarf (obvs).

Hippodrome (5 minutes)
Quick photo op of the obelisk and various columns.  There's not much else to see here.

Arasta Bazaar  (10 minutes to over an hour, depending on your lust for shopping and haggling)
This is a simply lovely pedestrian street lined with shops.  The vendors here have all agreed to not harass people as they browse.  It's like a little oasis of quiet, calm, respectful heaven.  I love it.  Plus, the prices here are much better than at the Grand Bazaar, where I don't recommend you buy anything unless you are a masochist.

Mosaic Museum (15-20 minutes)
Located right within the Arasta Bazaar.  Quite small but does have some really intersting mosaics inside.  Since it is right here and isn't expensive, it's definitely worth a quick spin.

Basilica Cistern (30 minutes)
Don't miss this one.  Sultahamet's hidden gem, as far as I'm concerned.  And it would seriously be a very welcome respite from Istanbul's summer heat.

Dinner in Sultanahmet
Self-explanatory. :)  The prices here can be high, but the staff are almost guaranteed to be friendly and to speak English.  Perfect after a very full first day in Istanbul.  Find a little mehane where you can sit on floor cushions and order manti or iskender, Turkish specialties and my personal faves.  Make sure you ask before sitting down if they serve alcohol (if that matters to you) as some places won't, even in the tourist center.

Drinks on a roof terrace overlooking the Blue Mosque
Again, self-explanatory.  But the view is not to be missed.

Day Two
Archaeology Museum (2 to 2.5 hours)
Three separate buildings.  My favorite was the Museum of the Ancient Orient, but my friend enjoyed the Tiled Kiosk the best.  Take your time and don't rush through; there's a lot to see here.  Maybe take a break in the very pleasant courtyard cafe if you're so inclined.

Topkapi Palace (3 hours)
This is another place where you really just need to take your time.  It's a huge site and there's a ton to see.  Do not skip the harem, even with the cost of the extra ticket.  Make sure you have plenty of space on your camera's memory card.

Tea in Gulhane Park overlooking the Bosphorus (30 to 45 minutes)
Reward yourself after a long day of lines and dusty artifacts with a pot of Turkish tea in this very pleasant park just outside the Topkapi Palace grounds.  If you walk all the way through the park, you'll find the tea gardens with views overlooking the Bosphorus.

Night Out in Contemporary Istanbul
Take the tram and funicular up to Taksim for dinner and a late night out.  There are about a million options, and your hardest task will be finding somewhere that isn't crowded and terribly noisy.  Unless of course your vacation happens to fall during a time of major social unrest, like now, and in that case, I advise that you stay as far away from Taksim and Istiklal street as you possibly can.  There seriously is not a lot to see here anyway, unless you are jonesing for a mall.

If Taksim isn't an option,  have dinner on the Galata Bridge instead.  If you time it right, you'll get a spectacular sunset behind the Suleymaniye Mosque.

Day Three
Suleymaniye Mosque (15 minutes)
Everything I wrote about the Blue Mosque also applies here, except bit about the line.

Grand Bazaar (20 minutes to ???)
I really did not like it here, not even a little bit.  It's crowded, the vendors are abrasive, it's a hotspot for pickpockets, and the prices suck.  Go to experience the atmosphere and so you can say you've been, but I strongly counsel against buying anything here.  You can find better prices and a more pleasant experience almost anywhere else.

Spice Bazaar (10 minutes to ???)
See above regarding the Grand Bazaar.

Whirling Dervish Show
Even though it's a big touristy gimmick, you just have to see a Whirling Dervish show while you're here.  There are lots of options but they're all pretty much the same.  Your main choice is whether or not to eat before (likely cheaper) or to get your dinner at the show.

Day Four
Cross the Galata Bridge (10 minutes)
Obviously you can do this by tram, but it's fun to walk.  Up top are the solid lines of fishermen, down on the second level are the scores of restaurants with agressive hosts beconing you in.  Ignore them.  You're off to have something far superior.

Get a fish sandwich (30 minutes)
Just on the other side of the Galata, there is a bustling fish market that will doubtless provide some interesting photos to show people back home.  On the other side of the market is a small park.  You can get sit-down service here, but I highly recommend getting a fish sandwich from one of the many cart vendors.  He'll cook it in front of you, wrap it in paper and then you can find a little plastic bench overlooking the Golden Horn.  Note that if you do sit down, you'll need to order a tea or soda, but that's okay as you needed something with your sandwich anyway.

Galata Tower (15 minutes)
Don't bother going up if the line is huge, but the views are nice.

Istanbul Modern (1 to 1.5 hours)
Need a break from Ottoman splendor, crowds, and noise?  Istanbul Modern is a welcome and much-needed respite.  I enjoyed the installations, although there was rather a superfluity of videos, most of which dealt with sexuality and the repression of women in traditional Muslim culture.  If you don't mind a (significant) splurge, their cafe overlooking the Bosphorus is excellent.

Evening in Asia
From Karakoy, take a late afternoon ferry to Kadikoy.  Explore the market before settling on one of the many restaurant options for dinner.  After dinner, walk up to Kadife Street and check out the thriving bar scene, maybe catch some live music.  The atmosphere here is very young and carefree compared to across the water, and there is a thriving expat population.  Make sure you don't miss the last ferry back to Europe or it will be quite the expensive cab ride.

Day Five
Dolmabahce Palace (2 hours)
Now, I myself have not seen this (yet), so I can't personally vouch for it.  But enough people and guidebooks have given it the thumbs-up that I'm confident it'd be worth your time.  Tickets are pricey though.

Take a Bosphorus Cruise (2 to 6+ hours)
I almost didn't include this here, but it really is an Istanbul must-do.  I've only done the short, 90-minute cruise, and while fun, I'm not sure you really see enough to make it worthwhile.  Still, it's not expensive and the scenery is beautiful.  There is also a much longer cruise you can do, which allows you to get off at various points and apparently makes it all the way up into the Black Sea.  If you have time and funds, this may be the better option.

Visit a Hamam (2 hours)
You just have to.  Wear your undies but no bra.  Tie up your hair (don't leave it down, they don't like it.)  Bring a bottle of water in with you, and surrender to the experience!

Choose-Your-Own-Adventure for Dinner
Okay, I'm kind of running out of specific recommendations for your evenings.  I'm sure you can figure this one out by yourself.  Although seriously, you need to get either manti or iskender if you haven't had both of them already!

Day Six
Turkish and Islamic Arts Museum (1 hour)
This is currently closed for the duration due to renovations, so it's the second thing on my itinerary that I haven't actually seen.  But I certainly would not miss it if I had the option.

Chora Church (30 minutes)
The most time-consuming thing about this site will be getting here.  It's definitely off the beaten path, but worth a look.  Incidentally, it will give you a chance to see what the rest of Istanbul looks like that isn't the tourist center.

City walls (1 hour)
Right near the Chora Church are the remains of the old city wall, back when Istanbul was still Constantinople.  It's a lot of fun to climb and romp around them, just be careful.  There aren't many safety features and it is completely possible to take a fall and hurt yourself badly.  Also, drunks have decided this is their turf, for some reason.  I wouldn't recommend going alone.  But it really is fun and worth it, I promise!

Indian for Dinner
If you need a break from Turkish food, I can highly recommend the Swaad Indian Restaurant just off of the Cemberlitas tram stop (which you'll go right through on your way back from the Walls!).  Again, pricey but the food is perfect.

Day Seven
Visit the Prince's Islands (whole day)
You can get the ferry from Karakoy again, or go from Eminonu to Kadikoy and get it there.  There are four islands in the chain, I've personally set foot on Helbeliada and Buyukada.  It's a nice respite away from the city; if you do decide to do this it might make sense to move it up to Day Four or Five to give yourself a break.  I listed it last because honestly I think you could give the islands a miss if it's a choice between Prince's Islands or something else.  But you can rent bikes on the island, take a carraige ride, hike up to a monastery, visit some (probably dirty) beaches, or just grab a picnic over a view of the Marmara.  Doesn't sound too bad.  Make sure you know the ferry times so you don't get stranded or miss seeing an island you wanted to check out.  There's also no shortage of shops or restaurant options.



Whew.  There you have it.  I'm pretty sure this covers almost everything, although as always there is doubtless some important stuff that I missed.  But I know if this was my Istanbul adventure, I'd be going home pretty damn happy with how my week went.

Enjoy your travels -- and as always -- stay smart and stay safe!

Travel Tips from a Journeyman Nomad

Well well.  Once again I find myself at this place.  One chapter ends, the next begins.  I had my last day of teaching yesterday, and will say my final (for now) goodbyes to Istanbul in less than a week.

Before I fly, I definitely intend to do a Final Assessment of my time here -- the teaching, the touristing, and all the rest, but for the moment the thing taking up the most space in my head is the truly impressive amount of traveling I will soon be doing.  Counting layovers, I will be on no fewer than six planes in the span of 12 days, and that is little short of certifiably insane.  Thank God not all of these flights will be the same caliber as my 14-hour traveling opus from Dubai to Dulles, but it's still a fair number of planes.  Quite a few security checkpoints, baggage claim stickers, and tiny bottles of mediocre wine.

I've racked up a respectable quality and quantity of adventures these past two years, but in no way do I feel anything like an expert traveler.  I still make plenty of dumb mistakes, large and small, and I've made many more times than once.  As I assess my time here in Istanbul and prepare to make one of my crazier trips -- to freaking Egypt -- I thought the time was right for me to share some of my hard-learned travel wisdom with y'all.  Because if nothing else, it would do me a world of good to see this all in clear black and white print right about now.

The Three Golden Rules for Travel Off the Beaten Path

1)  Know Thyself
What, exactly, do YOU need to be happy?  And yes -- in this context I am talking purely about all those shallow, petty, modern conveniences we all take for granted over in the First World.  Do you need printed photos of loved ones to tack to your wall?  Olay Regenerist Facial Scrub?  A yoga mat?  An external hard drive full of your top 500 favorite action movies?  When traveling abroad, especially for an extended period of time, every single person -- no matter how tough you are -- is going to want some familiar, comforting touches of home at certain critical points.  Take steps to make sure you have them, whatever they happen to be.  Even if you've decided to Rough It in the Australian Bush or the African desert, even if you've decided to challenge yourself in the harshest environments and with the most minimal of gear -- there will come a point where you are going to simply need to get weepy over a photo of your parents or snuggle up for a viewing of Alien vs. Predator.  And believe me, having the ability to do those things is going to make a gigantic difference to how smiley you are when you face the world the next day.

2)  Know Thy Situation
At the same time, be realistic.  If you really are backpacking the wilds of Australia, chances are you'll quickly find that there are a great many things you thought you couldn't live without when in fact -- you really can.  And especially if you're schlepping your life on your back, never forget -- as Bill Bryson once said -- that "ounces quickly turn into pounds."  Exactly how many beauty products do you need to survive, Princess Vespa?  Also falling under this category -- do your research.  Be informed.  Find out about the general costs of things, safety, local history, and current events before you go.  This takes about 20 minutes on Google, if that.  Make sure you're walking into your adventure with your eyes open.  Oh yes -- and last but not least -- know thy budget.  This is an important one, and one I have been known to be kind of crappy at.

3)  Know Thy Limits
Please note that this is not the same thing as "Challenging Yourself."  Definitely do that.  But as a travel book once advised me:  "Don't sign up for a 20-hour train ride in Chinese 'hard seat' unless you are really, really sure you can take it."  You're not out to impress anyone, but you are out to have a good time and hopefully make some memories that will make you smile rather than cringe.   Even if you happen to meet some grizzled dude in the hostel common room who promises with the utmost sincerity that the only way to see Siberia is by oxcart, it doesn't make you any less of a traveler to see it instead from the window of a train's sleeper car.



Kay, I think that covers it for the abstract.  Now for the concrete.  I give you:

10 Survival Tips for Long Journeys (plane, train, bus, etc.):

1)  Dress comfortably.  I cannot stress this enough.  This includes shoes that you can slip easily in and out of, loose pants, an extra layer, and, for women, a sports bra.  It makes a huge difference.  I've never seen anyone receive a Fashion Award on a plane, but I have seen plenty of women wobbling miserably to the airplane toilet in their stupid high heels.

2)  Make sure you have your Travel Survival Kit ready to hand:  eyemask, earplugs (two pairs in case one rolls under your seat), neck pillow, lip balm, lotion, gum, hand sanitizer, and pills (head, stomach, and sleeping).

4) If your plane/train/bus is not full, change seats the second you can to give yourself an empty row.  Do not hesitate, do no worry about being rude, do not be afraid to do it first.  This is... like the most gigantic gift any one person can receive on a long journey.

5)  Don't be afraid to ask for stuff.  This includes requesting the seat you want at check-in (aisle, window, close to the front, whatever), help with your individual touch-screen (which probably will have at least some little thing tetchy about it), or an extra mini-bottle of booze or three.  Again, no one is judging you, and if they are, rejoice that their lives are undoubtedly sadder than yours.  It's a long flight.  Do what you need to do to be comfy.

6)  Fill out that customs form thingy as soon as you get it, and stow it somewhere safe.  You're going to be way too zombie-fied to feel like doing it as the plane is finally landing.

7)  This might seem like just obvious common sense, but make sure your shit is charged.  A dead kindle is a very, very sad kindle.

8)  Don't carry on any more crap than you really need.  It makes going through security a lot easier to not have armloads of stuff, not to mention you don't have to fight with all the hoarder tards trying to push each other out of the way as they jockey for overhead storage space.

9)  If you can, get there early.  You never know what the lines will be like, and not to mention that a stressed person is not exactly a clearheaded person.  Get through security and find your gate or platform.  Then, reward yourself with a pre-boarding cocktail nearby.  And by "find your gate", I don't mean just look at the board and get the number.  Actually find it.  It might not be exactly where you think it should be, or be further away than you anticipated.  My last flight out of Istanbul, Gate A-24 (or whatever) was on the opposite end of the airport from Gate A-23.  Go figure.

10) Chill out.  A lot of what's going to happen in your life over the next few hours is something you'll have little or no control over.  Bag is lost?  Plane is delayed?  Connection is missed?  That completely fucking sucks, but getting angry and frustrated will solve nothing.  All you can do is try and stay calm.  Shit will work itself out.  Probably. :)



Okay, you've landed.  Now what?

10 Survival Tips for Once You Get Where You are Going:

1)  Please, have your shit together.  This is another painfully obvious one, but needs to be said.  Have the name of your hotel/hostel ready to hand, along with a phone number, address, directions, and confirmation of your reservation including price.  No printer the last place you stayed?  Take screenshots with your phone or even a picture with your camera.  If you're taking a cab, try to find out beforehand how much a ride is expected to cost and roughly how long it will take.  If you're taking mass transit, make sure your directions are as complete as possible.  Screenshots of Google Maps can be invaluable.

2)  I realize this is often totally out of a person's control, but if possible, try to arrive during the day.  Daylight makes simply everything friendlier and far less confusing.  Also, you know, safer.

3)  Don't look like a target.  Even if you are lost and nervous, learn how to fake it.  A blank, purposeful stare and a determined stride can be the most important tools in your arsenal.  And for the love of God, now is not the time to wear expensive jewelry or to mess around with your Canon Rebel.  Basically, use your body language to say coolly to the world: "I know what I'm doing.  I'm not afraid of you.  Oh, and incidentally I clearly have nothing of value that would be worth your time.  You really would be a lot better off trying your luck with some other poor sucker."

4) Don't forget to ask your hotel/hostel for a map.  Almost everywhere will give one out for free, although the quality varies.

5)  In the same vein, don't be shy inquiring about any tours, sights, or restaurants the staff might recommend.  Definitely use your own judgement with this as well, but it's good to have options.  Most hostels will offer a free walking tour (although again, the quality varies drastically), and that can be a fun way to meet people and get an intro to the city.

6)  Be friendly and polite to the staff.  Another no-brainer here, but you'd be surprised how much it has the ability to affect the quality of your stay.

7)   If staying in a dorm, be respectful of your roommates.  No lights before 9:00 or after midnight, and be quiet if you come in and someone is sleeping.  Respect everyone's privacy.  If in a co-ed dorm, please change your underwear in the bathroom.  If you need to hang sink laundry, keep it within your own personal allotted space (as in, do NOT hang it all over the damn room).  I could do a whole separate blog post on this, and probably will at some point.  But basically, stick to the Golden Rule of Do Unto Others and you'll be good.

8)  Do not tell people you meet where you are staying, even if they seem to be perfectly nice and totally harmless.  Even if they are harmless, you don't know who else just heard you.  Lie.  Duh.

9)  Take a few minutes to learn a few key words and phrases in the local language.  Don't have a good memory?  Make up an index-card cheat sheet and keep it in your pocket.  Aside from being completely freaking necessary at times, shop owners, taxi drivers, waiters, etc., will all find your attempts completely charming.  A short list words/phrases I've found to be especially helpful:  yes, no, hello, goodbye, please, thank you, you're welcome, excuse me, I'm sorry, I would like..., menu, check, right, left, stop, how much?, when?, where?, where is the toilet?, and numbers 1 through 10.

10) A few supplies to consider bringing along:  a padlock for the dorm lockers (with extra key stored in a separate safe place!), a small towel or camp towel, a tiny flashlight, a bottle opener/corkscrew, laundry soap sheets, a Tide Pen, travel-size Febreeze, a small mending kit, ziplock baggies, flip flops for the shower and walking around the dorm, an electrical converter that has more than one outgoing socket (a splitter), because lot of rooms only have one outlet.  Also keep the eyemask and earplugs from the plane handy.  You are almost certainly going to need them.



These are by no means complete or sacrosanct lists.  There are probably hundreds of people in Istanbul alone who could find issue with every single thing I just wrote.  But these are the things that I've found to work for me. Take 'em or leave 'em as you wish.  Happy Traveling!

Come and knock on my door...

It might have come to your attention that I am staying conspicuously silent on the matter of recent interesting events occurring in Istanbul.  I've received several touching emails or messages from friends, and just want to say that I am fine; I've been staying well out of it and fully intend to continue to do so.  But regarding my thoughts or silence thereof, this is not a political blog, and frankly there are more than enough opinions on this situation that are percolating and circulating around the internets already.  I want to ask only that -- no matter what your political opinion, that you please just stay calm and smart about the whole thing.  Spreading information is good.  Re-sharing obviously photoshopped images, photos from a completely different conflict altogether, mis-translated quotations, or posting some histrionic version of "ZOMG THIS HAPPENED TEAR GAS!" is not helpful.  The internet makes it all too easy for people to be idiots.  Don't fall into the trap!  Check your sources, take a breath, and don't be part of sensationalism.  Because if nothing else, you better believe that someone on your friendslist is going to notice that photoshop or be able to speak Turkish and translate that quote correctly, and they are going to call you out and you will feel stupid.

Ahem.

Now back to the good part.

Cappadocia was incredible, but even with the several hours I spent deliberately Relaxing, I was still pretty much exhausted by the time I got home Monday night.  That was just too bad for me, because there was a night event at my school Tuesday, and then I had just two days to plow through laundry and get the apartment presentable before my friend Sarah came to visit!

She got in late Friday evening; I met her at Ataturk and we came back together to the lovely borough of Sirinevler.  Just long enough for us to change and brace ourselves for the long ride into Taksim, because Rachel's parents had come for the weekend and they were taking us out to dinner!  We ate at a traditional Turkish place, on floor cushions.  I had one of my Turkish faves, iskender, and it was quite tasty.

Sarah, me, and Rachel

There is no way I can tackle all of this in my typical narrative chronological style, so here are the highlights of Sarah's 10-day Istanbul Adventure.

Saturday was a full day.  We conquered the "Rick Steves Back Streets Istanbul Walk," which included four mosques and two giant bazaars among other things.  It was my first visit to the Suleymaniye Mosque, as well as the Grand Bazaar and the Spice Bazaar.  I am definitively not a Bazaar Person.  I found the constant haggling, wheedling, catcalling, and simpering to be positively abrasive.  The massive crowds didn't help either.  But the clincher came at the Spice Bazaar, where I saw a tiny box of Turkish Delight offered at the staggering price of 40 lira.  You have got to be fucking kidding me.  Found the exact same box elsewhere for 10 lira.  I have pretty much zero respect for anyone trying to take such disgusting advantage of people who just plain don't know any better.

Grand Bazaar

Inside the Suleymaniye Mosque

 We crossed the Galata and had an excellently refreshing respite with some fried calamari, stuffed mussels, and beer (for me).  Then we took the tram back up to Sultanahmet to see something that's been on the top of my Istanbul Must-See list since I got here -- A Whirling Dervish show!

The show was great, but I knew that I was paying for a Tourist Spectacle.  After the dervishes, a freaking belly dancer came out.  Seriously?  Not exactly two great tastes that taste great together.  I'd plunked down my 40 lira to see dervishes, and would have been completely happy if that was all there was to see.  Awkward solo belly dancer shaking her stuff to a half-full room of mostly couples and/or older women... did not really add much to the evening.

We got a late start on Sunday, and went to see the Archaeological Museum.  A bit dry but worth a look around.  Interestingly, Rick Steves advised that, if pressed for time, you skip the Museum of the Ancient Orient, which was my favorite part of the whole affair.  The Kadesh Treaty is here, which is the world's oldest surviving peace accord, as well as friezes of Babylonian dragons and some cool Egyptian artifacts.  Ah well, each to his own, Rick Steves!

Kadesh Treaty

Inside the main museum, the highlight for me was this incredibly creepy poor guy on display.  They called him a mummy but there sure didn't seem to be much mummified stuff left.

I also really liked this guy, a giant statue of the god Bes, who apparently is sometimes mistaken for Hercules.

The third building, the Tiled Kiosk, has some beautiful ceramics and examples of Iznik tiles.  Unmistakably the prettiest, but possibly the least interesting, from a historical point of view at least.

Door into the Tiled Kiosk

After the museum, we got ourselves some fresh air and did a Bosphorus Cruise.  I'd done one before and this was pretty much exactly the same, but the weather was nice and there were no Turkish teenage boys being douchebags on this go-round, so it was enjoyable enough. :)

Sarah with Europe behind her

On Monday, we decided to foray off the beaten path a bit, and find Chora Church.  We got a little lost attempting to do this, and ended up making our own road through a Muslim graveyard.

It wasn't really Rick's fault but we needed someone to blame in the moment.

Eventually, we found it.  The Chora Church is famous because of the marvelous mosaics that have survived inside.  Rick says to take an hour scrutinizing them all?  Yeah... we made sure to take absolutely as long as we could because it had been such a bitch to find, and pretty much ran out of stuff to stare at after 15 minutes.  Undeniably beautiful though, even if I couldn't manage to fill the hour!

Chora Church

Chora Church is right next to the Old City Walls, built by Constantine when this place was still Constantinople.  So we got out our rock-climbing skills and checked them out.

Stairway to heaven?  Also, crazy freaking steep.

I still had to work my standard Tuesday through Friday, but we managed to have some fun in the evenings anyway.  On Tuesday, we ventured all the was over to Asia and had dinner in Kadikoy.  On Wednesday, we went out to Aksaray and did a traditional Turkish hamam.  Pretty identical to my hammam experience in Trabzon, except this time I was able to communicate that I didn't want buckets of water poured over my face or soap covering my eyes.

When Saturday rolled around again, it was time for another full day.  Sarah had seen a lot of the Tourist Must-Sees on the days when I was working, but she hadn't caught the Blue Mosque yet, so we started with that.  And holy crap, the line.  When I visited in February I was able to walk right in!  Istanbul in June is... engorged.

Line snaking around the inner courtyard

Specifically because I knew I'd be going to a mosque, I wore a pair of capri shorts that covered my knees.  But apparently this was not good enough, and they made me wear this ridiculous blue skirt/wrap thing.  Oh well.  As I kept saying to Sarah throughout the week, "When in Constantinople..."

Sarah, me, the Blue Mosque, and my skirt

After the Blue Mosque, we wandered through the peaceful Arasta Bazaar, which is where I will be doing all my shopping when it comes time for it, and did a quick spin through the Mosaic Museum.  Small but quite interesting; I liked the prevalence of mythological creatures in the mosaic art.  The Green Man, a winged unicorn, a griffin... very cool.

Green Man

We wanted to tour the Museum of Turkish and Islamic Arts, but it's closed for renovation.  So we walked across the Galata again because I'd finally convinced Sarah to try one of the awesome vendor cart fish sandwiches!  It was just as good as I remembered. :)  Then up to the Istanbul Modern, which is discretely tucked away along the Bosphorus and a welcome soothing balm to the bustle (and hustle!) of Sultahahmet.  Sadly, no photos inside, but a very interesting collection of often provocative pieces and installations.

I loved the juxtaposition of all the conflicting styles in this shot.

We walked up to Taksim for a bit, and saw some riot police who apparently got the memo one week too early.

And finally, Sarah took me out for an amazing dinner of Thai food!  I have been seriously missing my Asian fix, and this could not have been more perfect.  Spring rolls and extra-spicy (requested!) red curry, followed by poached pear and ginger ice cream with lemon and ginger tea.  100% HEAVEN.  Thank you again, Sarah!!

On Sunday, I accompanied her to the airport on Sunday morning and then had the No Pants Day of my LIFE.

It was awesome to have a friend from home here, to be able to experience Istanbul from a different perspective.  The days went by too quickly, but I don't see how we could have crammed anything more into them!  I got to check almost everything off my Istanbul Bucket List though -- I think only the Aquaduct and maybe the Dolmabache Palace are left.  And I very much hope that things quiet down here soon.  I have presents to buy for folks.

Cappadocia: Weird and Wonderful

Back in that first Cappadocia post, I mentioned a possible concussion as one of the memorable highlights of the trip.  Well.  As you may have guessed from its name, Shoestring Cave House boasts "cave rooms" for its guests.  I'm not sure exactly how natural or authentic these cave rooms are, but the dormitory consisted of three dark alcoves connected by doorways that were... somewhat lower than a normal doorway.  Compounding this interesting situation is the fact that you don't exactly get much light in a cave, even a man-made one.  My room was in the second alcove, and the only light from outside came from that which managed to filter around the curtain covering the small window way up in the first room.  It got kind of pitch black at night.

My third night there, I woke up at some predawn hour and really had to pee, so I groped my way along in the darkness towards the door.

I don't think I've ever in my life hit my head as hard as it connected with the top of this stone doorframe.  I mean, I seriously rang my bell.  I got the whole flash of light and nausea and everything.  It was really quite impressive.  I staggered on outside and peed successfully, then dragged myself back in and swallowed a bunch of advil.  (My roommates must have just loved me that night.)  The entire left side of my skull, from my forehead to the nape of my neck, was screaming in protest.  And as I lay there, praying for the advil to start working, it did cross my mind that maybe sleep was not precisely the thing to be trying to achieve right at that exact moment.  But at any rate, I appear to have survived.  Yay for me.

But seriously, Shoestring.  People are not five feet tall anymore.  Some glow-in-the-dark tape, or a night light or freaking something, would be appreciated.  Sincerely, me and the left side of my skull.

A few hours later, I woke up with blessedly less headache, and packed up for checkout, which was at 10:00 AM.  I hadn't had a chance to grab breakfast at the hostel yet, what with my early touring mornings, but made it up there on the last day.  The breakfast was pretty good, and definitively Turkish.  I didn't have to leave for the airport until 4:45, which meant I had practically a whole day to kill.  I decided to do a hike around Honey Valley, but first had to wait for a threatening thunderstorm to come and go, which took longer than I thought it had any right to.  At least I had an excuse for a pleasant slow morning in the courtyard, drinking tea and reading my novel.

And finally around noon I set out for Honey Valley.

Honey Valley has the prestige of boasting the most phallic fairy chimneys I'd seen thus far.  It also had literally about a dozen criscrossing paths, and I did not at all find it easy to figure out the right one, if even a right one was to be found.  There was one time when I decided I was for sure on the wrong path, backtracked, and chose another one which I followed for 20 minutes, only to find myself in practically exactly the same spot where I had turned around before.  Also, it was persistently thundering, and at least half the sky looked like that last picture there.  (While the other half looked like the rest of the photos at exactly the same time, go figure.)  I didn't want to be caught out in any untimely inclement weather, so after maybe two hours I turned around.  I feel like I got my money's worth from Honey Valley.

Back in Goreme, I got some manti for lunch at another Lonely Planet-sanctioned spot, then retreated once more to the comforts of Shoestring's roof terrace (and shady courtyard when the sun got hot).  My shuttle, flight, and short mass-transit journey back to my comfy apartment in Sirinevler went about as well as anyone ever hopes, and I wasted no time crawling into bed because tomorrow was going to prove a very long working day indeed.  Vacation is officially over, boys and girls!

I loved Cappadocia.  I had been so unsure as to whether it would prove to be worth it, because for sure this was not the simplest nor the cheapest trip I have ever booked.  But once everything was in place it just went beautifully.  And was it worth the money?  Unquestionably.  The jewel in the crown of my Turkish adventure, without a doubt.  I think a weekend would have been too short and a whole week too long, but four days was just about perfect.  I have definitely joined the ranks of the happy few singing Cappadocia's praises to al who might find themselves wandering through Turkey.

Cappadocia: Merits of the Guided Tour

I've never been a "guided tour" kind of person.  To me, a guided tour means you spend way too much time listening to someone talk about something you don't quite care about, while never having quite enough time to explore whatever it is you do care about.  Hell, I don't even like audioguides.

But, as it happens, Cappadocia is big.  It's a whole region, and if I wanted to see what awesomeness lay beyond the limits of my own two feet, I was going to have to sign up for a tour.  (I guess I could have rented a car, but... yikes.)

And hey, the fact that I needed to be on a minibus at 9:30 AM was really helpful in ensuring that I did not spend half of the day in bed.

There seem to be a couple standard tours offered by various companies, that all pretty much follow the same routes.  I booked through my hostel, and signed up for the South Cappadocia Tour, or "Green" tour.  It looked to be a pretty solidly full day.

We started off at the Goreme Panorama, which I was really glad I hadn't hiked to the day before as that would have been a tad redundant.  (I originally booked this tour a couple weeks ago and honestly did not remember exactly what all was on it.)  Just a quick talk from our tour guide, Vedat, about Cappadocia's history, a couple photos to show the boys back home, and it was back onto the bus.

One of the many little vendor stalls.  I WILL have one of these lamps!

I instantly liked Vedat, our tour guide.  He was friendly and young, down-to-earth and not the least bit saccharine or fake.  We had a couple fun conversations during the longer rides between stops.  He teased me about being a teacher, saying he hated hearing about how teachers worked so hard when they had so much time off.  I returned fire with a few of my better stories (and Rachel's), and asked if anyone from his tour groups had ever peed on his feet.

Our next stop was the Derinkuyu Underground City, but apparently the line to get in was astronomical, so Vedat took us instead to visit Selime Rock Monastery, promising we'd be back to Derinkuyu at the end of the day.

I LOVED Selime.  It reminded me so much of Uplistsikhe, the Georgian cave city I visited with Chris just about a year ago that day!  Vedat was going to give us 20 puny minutes to explore, but I gave him the hard sell and got us bumped up to 35.  Go me.  And I did need every second of that, believe me.  This place was so cool!

Right as we got back on the bus, it started to rain.  Perfect time to stop for lunch on a covered wooden porch overlooking a river!  The food was really good and my fellow tour-goers quite friendly.  An excellent lunch.  Then it was just a short drive to Ihlara Valley for a short hike.

It rained on us, but hooray for North Face rain jacket and quick-dry pants!

And then, we drove back to Derinkuyu and this time there was practically no line at all.  Vedat was hilarious as he tried to get us all ticketed and shepherded in ahead of this massive group of Chinese tourists.  We made it, yay. :)

Derinkuyu was mind-blowingly impressive.  I forget how many levels there are in total, but the first eight are open to the public.  Contrary to some popular belief, the people didn't live in the underground cities all the time, only when threatened by invading armies.  When that happened, they slipped quietly away to hang out underground for a couple months until the baddies up above got bored and went away.

Unfortunately, the cave city was the first time during the day that I felt that Vedat was kind of rushing us through.  I made sure to ask about every opening and passage that I saw, and he was pretty good about letting me explore, but I still would have liked some more time.  Oh well.

Finally, for our last stop we had one more "photo opportunity" overlooking the aptly-named Pigeon Valley.

It was here that the group became acquainted with Turkish Viagra.

I bought some naturally dried apricots and some peanuts that had been rolled in honey and sesame seeds.  Delish.  The vendor also managed to sell a tiny pot of "Turkish Viagra" to a very nice Indonesian man traveling with his family.  "Is like a BOMB!" the vendor promised.  One can only hope.

Back in Goreme, I found Fat Boy's, a Lonely Panet-recommended restaurant and pub, and had some  hummus.  After my huge lunch on the tour, I couldn't have handled anything more!  Then I went to find the also-Lonely Planet-recommended Red Red Wine House, specializing in local Cappadocian wine.  It was adorable but I was the only tourist there, and the only wines he had by the glass were house red and house white.  One of those things that would have been spectacular if I'd had a travel buddy to share it with, but on my own it only ended up being slightly awkward.  Proprietor was incredibly nice though.

I'd had such a good time with Vedat on the Green Tour that I decided to go ahead and sign up for the Red Tour the following day.  This was sort of the "lighter" tour, and would be even lighter than usual for me because it included a trip to the Goreme Open Air Museum, which of course I had already seen and convinced them to give me the tour minus the price of the museum ticket, and to drop me back at the hotel before visiting the museum at the end of the trip.  Considering the museum was supposed to start the tour, I thought this was incredibly nice of them.

The Red Tour (North Tour) started off in Cavusin, which was home to an old Greek cave settlement.  Abandoned after WWI, these cave homes were much newer than those from the Byzantine era, and so in places still looked very much like the shells of houses.  They were all built into the side of a cliff, and like everywhere else you could just climb and romp and explore to your heart's content, and if you fell to your death, well, on your own head be it.

The allotted half-hour was not enough time.  I wanted to poke my head into every alcove and investigate every hidden turn.  Every time I visit a place like this, I think about how great it would be to be able to see an artist's rendition of what it might have looked like at its peak.  Obviously those doorways in the last photo were at one time much more grand.  And how did the people move about?  Were they part mountain goat?  Or were there ladders and pulleys and such that obviously could never make it to present day?

Anyway, even if you don't do the guided tour, I highly recommend checking out Cavusin!

But for us, it was back on the bus and over to Pasabag, or Monk's Valley.  Yet another awesome weird alien landscape for me to fall in love with.  The rock here was practically alabaster white and eroded away to a fine grit almost like talcum.  It made for fun moments when the wind picked up.  The valley is named for St. Simeon, who apparently retreated here when he got too famous.

Bright white!

Love the pathway of steps worn into the soft rock.

Just to the right of this ridge, I spotted an old wooded ladder and a hand-lettered sign inviting people down to see a "hobby garden".  So I went to check it out.  There was the nicest man waiting under a shade awning with a cup of apple tea for me!  He had a couple things for sale, like tea leaves and home-dried fruit, and bottles of his homemade wine, which I really really wanted but he was asking 40 lira!  So I regretfully declined.  Besides, to climb back up I needed hands at a few tricky parts, and wasn't exactly sure how a bottle of wine was going to work out.  I also had to sadly refuse his offer to tour the garden, as my bus was leaving soon.  He really did have a pretty sweet setup, and I wish I could have stayed longer.  Oh well.  Should you for some reason find yourself at Monk's Valley, look for this guy.  His English was excellent and his apple tea delicious.

After Pasabag, we stopped for lunch at this very fancy buffet!  I rather liked yesterday's casual lunch at the riverside better.  But the food was good, even if my second batch of tour companions were some of the quietest people I had ever met.  I tried to strike up conversation a couple times but to no avail.  It was a rather silent lunch.  After all that, we bussed to a pottery shop in Avanos, and got a quick tour followed by a demonstration on a kick wheel.  After we watched the master at work, our guide asked if any of us wanted to try.  Well, of course I did!

Tiny secret -- I took pottery lessons for a couple years in my early 20s.  I am by no means a talented or accomplished potter.  But I was kind of excited at getting to show off a little. :)

Not a bad effort, if I do say so myself!  However, any vase that I might have created is, of course, completely eclipsed by the EPIC PANTS I was given to wear during this particular adventure.  I wanted to take them home and they would not let me.  (Also, just want to make it clear that I did not leave the hostel like that.  Those are not my pants.  No, they really aren't.  Stop laughing.  Asshole.)

After all that, it was time for a couple more "photo opportunities" at Ugrup and Devrent Valley.

Camel

The "family" rock chimneys, the symbol of Cappadocia

And then the rest of my group went to the Open Air Museum and I went to enjoy a glass or two of Cappadocian white on the roof terrace.  I mean, I was on vacation.

View of Goreme from Shoestring's roof terrace