The other night I had a conversation with my host dad (with my host brother as translator) about food. Specifically about American food, and how universally unhealthy it is. Now, it was late, I'd had a long working day, and maybe I wasn't as diplomatic as I could have been when I replied that Georgians could throw stones about health when their dinner table included vegetables of some sort.
(I said this laughingly, teasing, and not in a mean way. But to my host family's incredible credit and generosity [they are truly awesome], dinners for the past several nights have included salad. The kind with lettuce. In fact, tonight's dinner was exceptionally wonderful. So let it be said that my host family is to be exempted from pretty much everything that is going to come below. They are simply way cooler than average.)
Americans have a bad rap for fast food and obesity, and this in many situations is justified. But I'm not sure that a culture whose main staples are white carbs, cheese, undefinable animal parts, and chacha can really pass any judgement in this particular department. And also of course there's a lot more to being healthy than just what is on the table.
The other night was hardly the first time I have had to defend American food and health habits to a Georgian. In fact, this post had been percolating in draft form for about a month before I dusted it off. So, Georgia -- you think we've got messed up ideas about health and good food? Allow me to reply.
Not long before leaving my Vashlijvari family, I had another relatively brief but violent bout of food poisoning. Unfortunately food poisoning is no longer something to write home about because it is just one of those things that can be expected from time to time. And why is this? This is because Georgians have this really interesting idea that it is unnecessary to refrigerate anything. The culprit this last time was bean stew (lobio), which ironically is one of their "healthier" staples but any nutritional properties of the dish go literally down the toilet when the stewpot has been sitting on the stove for 36 hours straight, next to the heater.
Georgia: food will go bad if you do not properly store/refrigerate it. Eventually, all food will go bad even if it is properly stored. Eating this food will make you sick. This is a fact.
Additionally, while this more relevant in the summer, flies and other insects carry disease. Having them crawling on your food because you leave stuff out and uncovered is gross. This too, is a fact.
And finally -- when you wash your hands and you don't use any soap, this does not count as washing your hands. Not washing your hands spreads germs. And yes -- this is another fact.
Let's move on to food itself.
Above, I mentioned a typical Georgian table's complete lack of vegetables, but it merits further review because I want to point out that during my entire stay with my Vashilijvari family, not ONCE did a fresh vegetable appear. This is not hyperbole, not an exaggeration to make a point. This is truth. And back in Poti, once my host family's own garden stopped producing tomatoes and cucumbers, they stopped serving veggies too. It goes without saying that Georgians don't take multivitamins, so this means that for the entire winter... what? They get their vitamins from the air? Honestly I am surprised scurvy is not a common Georgian disease. Oh, and btw -- covering vegetables with oil or mayonnaise, while better than nothing, does kind of defeat the purpose some.
Georgia: vegetables are awesome. They are out there, waiting to love you. Do not fear the vegetables.
The pitfalls of a Georgian table hardly end here. With the exception of cheese, there is practically no dairy. I rarely if ever see kids drinking milk, and adults don't even put milk in their coffee. I don't think it would come as a surprise to anyone (except maybe a Georgian), that this likely is a major contributor as to why so many older Georgians have terrible osteoporosis, as well as the horror-movie quality of Georgian teeth.
On to meat. Georgians love to boil stuff. They boil it into irrecognition, and either no one has told them that boiling removes a good deal of nutrition from anything, or they don't care, or they disregard this as "theory." When (most) Georgians get meat, the first thing they usually do is boil it. Then when it's nice and stringy, they hack the poor waterlogged creature into indefinable chunks, taking into zero account such finer points as the actual cuts of meat, let alone things like bone, fat, gristle, skin, and my personal favorite subgroup, the sneaky sneaky bone shard. It's not terribly appetizing, to be honest. And I feel kind of redundant saying that boiling something to pulp and then frying it in sunflower oil is not exactly the healthiest way to go about getting your protein.
Let's move on to carbs. Georgia loves carbs. They love carbs a bunch. Every meal includes bread, and a lot of it. But let me tell you about something near and dear to my heart (sarcasm), a lovely little dish called ghomi.
Poti is in a region of Georgian called Mingrelia, and ghomi is a traditional Mingrelian staple. Ghomi is grits. It's basically coarse-ground corn flour boiled in water. It has practically no dietary fiber, a ton of carbohydrates, and almost no vitamins. Despite popular (Mengrelian) belief, not only is ghomi not healthy, but it tastes like something I imagine they serve prisoners in North Korea. It's like the gruel Oliver asked for more of. I freaking hate ghomi. I would rather not eat rather than eat ghomi, and I have.
When I lived in Poti, I got ghomi a lot, and was hoping that since it was a regional specialty, I'd be spared this particular cultural experience in Tbilisi. Sadly for me, my Vashlijvari family loved the stuff, but my new (sane!) family has told me that they hate ghomi. Hooray for them! And for me.
Georgia: Eating tons of white bread (or similar carbs) at every meal is not healthy. This is also a fact.
No post about Georgian eating habits would be complete without mentioning the booze. Some might call me hypocritical for bitching about Georgia's collective love of boozing it up, as clearly I have had no problems with this tradition in the past. But Georgia, even though I may agree that shooting back chacha for hours while toasting everyone from God to Saakashvili to all my aunts, uncles, and cousins twice removed is good solid family fun, surely we can agree that this habit is not particularly good for you. Most grown people in other countries do not carry bottles of vodka with them to visit friends. In fact, it's pretty uncommon for most folks out of college to do shots at all -- special events like bachelor parties, job firings, unauthorized credit card activity etc., not withstanding.
This last particular anecdote is not directly related to food, but is related to health, so I think now is a good time to share with you that many Georgians honestly do not believe that spending hours in the sun with no protection will give you skin cancer. On the other hand, I have been told, with utter seriousness and sincerity, that cats will give you lung cancer. Now, if "cats" were a code word for "cigarettes", which nearly every Georgian over 18 (and a good deal younger) smokes like they think the answer to the universe will be found on the other end of the filter, that would make sense. But the (young and educated!) Georgian that told me this did not mean cigarettes. She meant cats, and she explained that this was the reason that many Georgians did not like cats. I'm just going to take this moment to say the following, for the record.
Georgia: Yes, those giant black and white labels on your cigarettes are not lying. Cigarettes are bad for your health. Broiling your unprotected skin for hours in the summer sun is also bad for your health. These are facts.
Cats, on the other hand, I'm pretty sure are in the clear.
